Is it worth what we give up?

I was recently referred to a blog called LDS Homeschooling in California, where I read the following quotes on education by Ezra Taft Benson, 13th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  

There are many, many more quotes by many other LDS authorities, but President Benson's collection were my favorite, so I thought I would share them.  It's been 18 years since his passing and we can see how his prophesies are coming to pass.  

 

Let us never lose sight of the fact that education is a preparation for life -- and that preparing for life is far more than knowing how to make a living or how to land on the moon. Preparing for life means building personal integrity, developing a sound sense of values, increasing the capacity and willingness to serve. Education must have its roots in moral principles. If we lose sight of that fact in our attempt to match our educational system against that of the materialists, we shall have lost far more than we could possibly gain. (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 297)

I feel to warn you that one of the chief means of misleading our youth and destroying the family unit is our educational institutions. There is more than one reason why the Church is advising our youth to attend colleges close to their homes where institutes of religion are available. It gives the parents the opportunity to stay close to their children, and if they become alerted and informed, these parents can help expose the deceptions of men like Sigmund Freud, Charles Darwin, John Dewey, John Keynes and others. There are much worse things today that can happen to a child than not getting a full education. In fact, some of the worst things have happened to our children while attending colleges led by administrators who wink at subversion and amorality. Said Karl G. Maeser, "I would rather have my child exposed to smallpox, typhus fever, cholera or other malignant and deadly diseases than to the degrading influence of a corrupt teacher." (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 307.)

There is absolutely nothing in the Constitution which authorizes the federal government to enter into the field of education. Furthermore, the Tenth Amendment says: "The powers not delegated to the United States Government are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." Nothing could be more clear. It is unconstitutional for the federal government to exercise any powers over education. (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 298.) 

From the 5th grade through the 4th year of college, our young people are being indoctrinated with a Marxist philosophy and I am fearful of the harvest. The younger generation is further to the left than most adults realize. The old concepts of our Founding Fathers are scoffed and jeered at by young moderns whose goals appear to be the destruction of integrity and virtue, and the glorification of pleasure, thrills, and self-indulgence. (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p 321) 

 

The world worships the learning of man. They trust in the arm of flesh (see D&C 1:19). To them, man's reasoning is greater than God's revelations. The precepts of man have gone so far in the educational system that in many cases, a higher degree today, in the so-called social sciences can be tantamount to a major investment in error. Very few men can build firmly enough on the rock of revelation to go through this kind of indoctrination and come out untainted. Unfortunately, of those who succumb, some use their higher degree to get teaching positions even in our Church Educational System, where they spread the falsehoods the have been taught. President Joseph Fielding Smith was right when he said that false educational ideas would be one of the threats to the Church within. (God, Family & Country p. 258)

 

The tenth plank in Karl Marx's Manifesto for destroying our kind of civilization advocated the establishment of "free education for all children in public schools." There were several reasons why Marx wanted government to run the schools. Dr. A. A. Hodge pointed out one of them when he said, "It is capable of exact demonstration that if every party in the State has the right of excluding from public schools whatever he does not believe to be true, then he that believes most must give way to him that believes least, and then he that believes least must give way to him that believes absolutely nothing, no matter in how small a minority the atheists or agnostics may be. It is self-evident that on this scheme, if it is consistently and persistently carried out in all parts of the country, the United States system of national popular education will be the most efficient and widespread instrument for the propagation of atheism which the world has ever seen." (in Conference Report, October 1970, p. 25) 

 

[We should] reassert the primary right and responsibility of parents for the total education of their children, including social values, religious convictions, and political concepts... Parents should stand firm on this and not be intimidated by professional educators. After all, it's their children and their money. (An Enemy Hath Done This, p. 231)

 

The phrase federal aid to education is deceptive and dishonest. What is really meant is "federal taxes for education." The federal government cannot "aid" education. All it can do is tax the people, shuffle the money from one state to another and skim off its administrative costs from the top. Only the people can aid education. They can do it safer, faster, and cheaper within their local communities than by going through the middleman in Washington. Federal taxes for education means federal control over education. No matter how piously the national planners tell us that they will not dictate policies to local school systems, it is inevitable that they will in the long run. In fact, they already are doing it. Whenever the federal government spends tax money for any purpose, it has an obligation to determine how and under what conditions that money is used. Any other course would be irresponsible. (An Enemy Hath Done This, p. 231.)

Have good associates or don't associate at all. Be careful in the selection of friends. If in the presence of certain persons you are lifted to nobler heights, you are in good company. But if your friends or associates encourage base thoughts, then you had best leave them. (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p. 562)

 

During the past several years many of our institutions of learning have been turning out an increasing number of students schooled in amorality, relativity, and atheism -- students divested of a belief in God, without fixed moral principles or an understanding of our constitutional republic and our capitalistic, free enterprise economic system. This follows a pattern which was established years ago at some of our key colleges that produced many of the teachers and leaders in the educational field across the country today. The fruits of this kind of teaching have been tragic, not only to the souls of the individuals involved, but also to the parents, and even to our country. . . . The whole process can be quite insidious. Young people know that the best jobs are available to college graduates. They want to do well at school. When exam time comes, they must give back to the teacher what the teacher wants. Now under the guise of academic freedom -- which some apparently feel is freedom to destroy freedom -- some teachers reserve to themselves the privilege of teaching error, destroying faith in God, debunking morality, and depreciating our free economic system. If questions reflecting the teacher's false teachings appear on the exam, how will the student answer who believes in God and morality and our Constitution? ...The problem arises when under the pressure of a heavy course of study and the necessity of parroting back what certain professors have said, the student does not have the time or take the time to learn the truth. If he does not learn the truth, someday he will suffer the consequences. Many an honest student, after graduation, has had to do some unlearning and then fresh learning of basic principles which never change and which he should have been taught initially... Parents, stay close to your children; you cannot delegate your responsibility to the educators no matter how competent they may be. Parents have a duty to train their children, to talk over their problems with them, to discuss what they are learning at school. And it is neither wise nor safe, as President Stephen L. Richards stated, to leave the determination of our educational system and policies exclusively to the professional educators. (Conference Report, Oct 1964 p. 56-59)

 

Only a Zion people can bring in a Zion society. And as the Zion people increase, so we will be able to incorporate more of the principles of Zion until we have a people prepared to receive the Lord. On this campus [BYU], in due time, there will be an increasing number of textbooks written by inspired men of the Church. There will be less and less a tendency to subscribe to the false teachings of men. There will be more and more a tendency first to lay the groundwork of the gospel truth in every subject and then, if necessary, to show where the world may fall short of that standard. In due time there will be increased teaching by the Spirit of God, but that can take place only if there is a decreased promotion of the precepts of men. (1974 BYU Speeches of the Year p. 305)

 

After the tragic prayer decision was made by the Court, President David O. McKay stated, "The Supreme Court of the United States severs the connecting cord between the public schools of the United States and the source of divine intelligence, the Creator, himself." (Relief Society Magazine, December 1962, p. 878.) 

Does that make any difference to you? Can't you see why the demand of conscientious parents is increasing the number of private Christian and Americanist oriented schools? (Improvement Era, December 1970, p.46)

  

It is a fundamental truth that the responsibilities of motherhood cannot be successfully delegated. No, not to day-care centers, not to schools, not to nurseries, not to babysitters. We become enamored with men’s theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother’s influence. Too often the pressure for popularity, on children and teens, places an economic burden on the income of the father, so mother feels she must go to work to satisfy her children’s needs. That decision can be most shortsighted. It is mother’s influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child’s basic character. Home is the place where a child learns faith, feels love, and thereby learns from mother’s loving example to choose righteousness. How vital are mother’s influence and teaching in the home—and how apparent when neglected! (Ensign, Nov. 1981, p. 104)

 

Let us be sure our educational system turns out young men and women of character, who know the basic facts of economics, free enterprise, history, finance, and government and who have a respect for law and an appreciation of the spiritual - otherwise that educational system will truly have been a failure." (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, p.301)

Day by day nothing seems to change

Marjorie Pay Hinckley Quote

Mothering

I have strong feelings about my role as a mother.  Let me share some of my favorite quotes on the subject.  I'm trying to be the kind of mother that weeds out that which is unnecessary and things which do not last.  This isn't a popular way of life these days.  People don't like it when I say 'no' to things that they think are normal or that our society expects.  But what really matters? 

“Some mothers in today's world feel "cumbered" by home duties and are thus attracted by other more "romantic" challenges. Such women could make the same error of perspective that Martha made. The woman, for instance, who deserts the cradle in order to help defend civilization against the barbarians may well later meet, among the barbarians, her own neglected child.”                            ― Neal A. Maxwell, Wherefore, Ye Must Press Forward

“Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all.”
                          ― Julie B. Beck

Slow Down & Simplify!

Everybody is a Genius

Why is it that the vast majority of people have accepted the idea that everyone needs to learn the SAME, basic set of information in their first 13 years of education?  Of course, there is a little variation based on electives that may be chosen once the child reaches late middle and high schools, but for the most part we expect everyone to learn all the same things.

I believe that each person has his/her own personal mission in this life and that we should be tailoring individual education to meet the child, not tailoring the child to meet a generic, predetermined information set.  Is that hard to do?  Yes!  But no harder than cramming all the square peg children into round education holes.

Can you imagine if you had been allowed in your education to spend as much time as you wanted on something you felt passionate about?  What if you were profoundly interested in learning about how to build things and you got to read and practice building things to your heart's content?

And then you realized that if you wanted to build cooler things you needed to learn some math and science.  So you had an internally motivating reason to learn math and science.  Would you learn math and science more efficiently?  Absolutely!  Are you going to spend your free time learning about it?  Yep.  Are you going to retain the information you learn?  Of course.  You have a reason that you are passionate about that will keep you learning and progressing.  And my opinion is that if you have a passion about building it is because God gave you that passion because it would help you fulfill your life's mission and purpose.

Am I against public schooling?  No!  I am against the idea that everyone should be forced to have the same education and I am against the government determining what my children need to learn.  I am infinitely more concerned with the long-term good of my children than anyone in any government, any school official, or any teacher.  If parents are committed to providing the best education for their children and determine that public school isn't best for them, they should have the flexibility to take their children where they believe they will obtain the best schooling.

Our current public education system isn't working for everyone.  I'll bet right now you can think of at least a couple of kids who don't fit the public education mold. Charter schools are popping up all over the country and home educating and online schooling are becoming more and more popular options because people need more flexibility for their kids to receive a quality education without being damaged for life.  Back to square pegs and round holes.  Public education is a wonderful option for so many people, but not for everyone.

Home Schooling Our Kids

I was recently asked by a friend about home schooling.  The following is what I wrote to her, so I thought I'd go ahead and post it here in case anyone else wanted to know my thoughts.

I am homeschooling Alex (8) and Ashlie (13) right now (and Avery, too, I guess!).  I agreed to let Olivia (11) go back to school for 6th grade, but next year I'll keep them all home.  The primary reason I sent Olivia back for 6th grade is because I had promised Alex he would have a year for just him because he was jealous that Olivia had a year at home and he had to go to school.

The changes in my children when they've been at home for schooling has been so remarkable that I can't rightly justify sending them back to public schools.  We are all thriving this way.

Olivia was developing into a bit of a brat in 4th grade.  I prayed about what to do about her and I just couldn't get over the idea that what she needed was more time at home and more one-on-one time with me.  So, I agreed to home school her for 1 year, not being able to commit to more.  It turned out to be the best year for both of us.  I could not have imagined the strength that came into our relationship by bringing her home.  She could usually do her school work in the first 3 hours of the day, then she spent the day following me around and learning how to be a mom.  Her relationship with Avery strengthened.  We spent at least an hour every afternoon reading and snuggling together and by mid-year she absolutely loved reading and once that fire is lit, it never really goes out.  Like I said, I let her go back for 6th grade, but I really regret it.  She has gone back to being kind of mouthy and forgetting how important family is.  She is really good at school and gets near perfect grades, but it takes a lot longer to learn the same amount of information at school and you're restricted in how deeply you can learn things.  I like that at home we can spend as long as we want on a subject that they're interested in and just learn the basics of things that aren't interesting to them.  By the way, Olivia turned back into my angelic child once she was out of public school.  I'm hoping this happens again at the end of the 6th grade year.

Anyone else have bad junior high experiences they wish they could forget?

Ashlie was very unhappy in 7th grade at Bountiful Jr and I could tell her self-confidence was diminishing and she was beginning to not like learning.  Her grades were really suffering (she has always had straight A's).   Historically she had been the one in my family that most loved school.  She was begging to be home schooled, but I wouldn't take her out until she got all her grades back up to A's.  I pulled her out at the semester break and I've never seen her happier since then.  In the 6 weeks since then, she has completed almost an entire year of Algebra, practices piano at least an hour or two each day, spends tons of time sewing and cooking and reading and is hungry to learn everything she can.  She is taking Latin and Algebra through Washington Online Schools, but the rest we just do at home.  She was in 4 honors classes in public school but still bored because they were moving too slowly.  Now she can move at her own pace and fly through subjects and have plenty of time to spare, along with learning home-making skills and her focus is far more on family than friends. 

The question home schoolers are always asked is if we're concerned about socialization.  To that I give a resounding "NO"!  With the YW program and home school groups all over the place, she has ample opportunities for socializing.  It is true that home schoolers may need to work harder to seek out friendships, but that doesn't mean there aren't opportunities!

Kids at the South Davis Liber Academy

Next year both Olivia and Ashlie will be enrolled in a commonwealth school called South Davis Liber Academy (SDLA).  They take classes all day on Thursdays (taught primarily by parents and older student mentors) then do the remainder of their work at home the rest of the week.  I have been watching my nephew and his schoolmates at this school for 2 years and have been amply impressed by the quality of people coming out of that school.  They are really amazing people who all seem to be comfortable in their own skin and with their own talents.  Yes, there are lots of weird kids, but they are true to themselves and not trying to pretend to be like the most popular kids, like they do in public school.  The truth is everyone is different and should be!

It has been a bit of a struggle with Alex because he currently hates learning and hates being forced to learn.  I think school took all the fun out of education for him, and I expect it will take some time before he will rediscover the love of learning new things, but I know it will happen eventually.  He takes science through Washington Online Schools, but the rest we do at home in a non-pressure environment.  He has always been really good at math and spelling, but so far he still doesn't love to read.  I know it will come, though.  I have loved seeing Alex using his creative abilities better (i.e. discovering in the outdoors, carving stuff out of sticks, making his own bow and arrow, building things, etc.) and I love that I don't have to fight him to go to school every single day and then hear about how awful things were at school.

Who wouldn't rather learn in an environment like this?!

There are many wonderful teachers in public schools - my kids have had some great ones!  The problem is that it's a gamble from year to year whether you'll get teachers that will inspire your children.  And each year the children need to learn the new teacher's style and reset their focus based on what that teacher thinks is most important.  They lose a lot of time and effort switching between teachers each year and their personal philosophies about what is important. 

I know I've said a lot but I wanted you to understand where we're coming from and what we've seen so far.  My biggest pieces of advice for anyone considering home schooling are: 1) pray about it, and 2) get informed!  Talk to as many people as you can.  Find out what all your options are because they are plentiful.  The biggest regret I have is not being willing to try it sooner.  I always thought of myself as someone that "could never do that", but you do what you think is best for your family regardless of how hard it is! 

Talk to as many people as you can who have tried it.  You're not going to get good enough information from people who haven't ever tried it!

There are so many home schoolers out there right now and more joining the ranks all the time.  The thing I can unabashedly say about every home school family I've met is that they are people who are trying to find a better way to meet the needs of their children.  I've not met a single home school parent who isn't really trying to do what's best for their family - and at great personal expense.  It is not the easy way, but it is SO worth it!  


For an entertaining 4-minute video on the subject, visit: 7 lies about homeschooling.
Home schooling info: Mindfiesta

Yes, I'm getting weird

My younger sister has, on occasion, commented that I'm getting weird. Well, I know. But - in my defense - I have to do what feels right for my family, regardless of how strange I appear to other people.  It's not always easy to go against what "most" people or "normal" people do, but luckily I was raised in an environment where appearances and "normal" weren't the most important things! (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

Better Late than Never!

I wrote this blog post in a Word document several months ago and I guess I never posted it.   I believe in it's better late than never, so here it is!

The school year has come to an end.  The kids are now all home for the summer and the house is a LOT more chaotic all day long than it was just a week ago.  It is always an adjustment when school gets out in the summer, but by the time summer is coming to a close I never want the kids to go back to school because I love having them home with me.

My home school year with Olivia has ended.  I am sincerely mourning the end because it has been such a wonderful year.  I have truly loved having her home with Avery and me all day every day.  The best result we realized was also our primary goal: to strengthen our relationship.  Having all that time together with only the distraction of one other child made it so much easier for me to meet her needs.  And when her needs for attention and one-on-one time are met she is a truly delightful child.  I am so sad to send her back to school next year and will have to try especially hard to keep our relationship strong.

Being with just Olivia and Avery during the day is a walk in the park compared to when all of my children are home in the afternoon and evening.  It has become quite poignant to me that having 4 children is significantly harder than having 2.  Now this may seem obvious to some, but it seems that some people don't realize that it is much harder to be a good mom as you add additional children.  As I think about this it also occurs to me that I really have NO idea what it must be like for people who have more than 4 children.  (Mom, how did you do it????) 

Now don't get me wrong....being a mom is the very best thing I've ever done in my life and I LOVE it more than any other thing I could be doing.  I wouldn't trade my role for anything and I LOVE having 4 kids.  However, it is really hard work. 

Recently someone I know who works full time but is not married and has no children said something to the effect of how busy she is and that I (and the other stay-at-home-moms that were in the room) probably have more time than she does to get things done.  I wanted to laugh in her face.  It just shows her naivety because she simply cannot comprehend the unrelenting and constant work that it is to be a wife and the mother of multiple children. 

Let's explore just one aspect of being "the mom".  I like to get my laundry done on one day each week.  I make sure we have enough clothes that I can usually save most of the laundry for Mondays.  However, now that I am providing laundry services for 7 people (my family plus my dad lives with us) it takes literally an entire day to do the laundry.  Luckily I can do other things in between loads but I have to change the laundry continually throughout the day without taking much time between the end of one load and the beginning of the next in order to get it all clean, folded and distributed by the time I go to bed on Monday night.  And if I am gone for a couple of hours during the day it runs into Tuesday.  And laundry is just one example.  Consider also the number of dishes we go through every day and how much messier a house with 7 people gets in just a short time and the taking care of each child's individual needs for attention and homework help and running them to the places they need to be and helping them learn to work and teaching them to be good people and on and on.... 

Now it is true that when one has multiple children the older ones can help out with the younger ones and this does offset the workload to some degree.  And I have children who are great workers and help out a ton with house and yard work. 

When other things (besides number of children) are taken into account such as having children with special needs or having to work outside the home in addition to being the mom or demanding callings or community involvement or any of the innumerable other things that make each of our situations unique it is critical that we remember that we don't know what it's like to be in each other's shoes. 

Not Funny. Me sad!

My darling little Avery's heart was broken at Wal-Mart today.   Alex had received 3 of exactly the same set of Legos for his birthday and was picking out 2 new sets to trade them for.  Unfortunately, Avery was with us.  I prepped Avery on the way to the toy aisle, explaining that he could look at the toys today but that we were not going to buy one and take it home. 

The child knows exactly where the Cars 2 toys are located and promptly picked out exactly which one he wanted to take home.  It was a tiny Finn McMissile and he talks!  The problem is that Finn costs almost $8 and we need to be really careful with our money right now so we can get a new house soon.    I held my ground, even though it was really, really hard to say 'no' to his adorable (remember, he's still just 2) begging.  He kept saying, "Please, mom...PLEASE buy?"  I talked to him again at eye level, explaining that I would like to buy him the toy but that I don't have enough money for it this time.  I tried telling him that maybe he could get it for his birthday like Alex got presents for his birthday.  Unfortunately, the logic of the situation didn't change the fact that he really wanted it! 

When it was time to go I asked if he wanted to put it back on the shelf or if he wanted me to do it.  I counted to three and it hadn't been replaced, so I had to pry the car from his tiny hands and put it back on the shelf.  He did all he could to squirm out of my arms, wailing in a broken-hearted way (not the same kind of crying as a spoiled kid fit).  He was crying big giant tears.  It was so sad and it was really all I could do not to buy it for him (but, see, I'm a smart Mom and didn't give in which will make it easier for him to believe it when I tell him 'no' in the future).  He cried the whole way out and kept trying to tell me what he wanted.  I just kept whispering that I know he wants that car really, really bad but I can't buy it for him today.  At one point he yelled, "Listen!  Want car!"    

Renewed energy went into the crying and again he tried to squirm away from me when we got to the check stand...and when we reached the doors to exit...and again when we got to the van.  As we were driving away Alex was trying to distract him with something he thought was funny.  Avery's response: "Not funny.  Me sad!"   Well, Avery, me sad, too!  I wish I could have spoiled you today!