On Wednesday we got to play with my brother's girls, Liz and Madi! It was so nice to have them around again; they are such sweet girls. Avery and Madi were a little competitive with me and the toys. It was funny to see Avery get so jealous when I held Madi or when she played with his toys. She was very snuggly with me, which was nice since Avery doesn't love to snuggle. They played together nicely most of the day and I think Avery loved having someone around to play with that was near his age. Madi is 2 1/2 years old and Avery is 21 months old.
The kids sneaked in and took a picture of Madi and I taking a nap. Madi went right down for her nap. I sang her a song and she was out like a light.
Olivia, Avery, Madi and Elizabeth on the teeter-totter.
The girls with their daddy. Can you see how much they adore him?
I'm so grateful that Rob is such a great dad. He really is wonderful with each of our kids.
The following notes are from a talk given by Julie B. Beck in our Regional Conference, May 2, 2010 on the Influence of a Righteous Woman. I know my mom missed this because she was sick and I've talked to a couple of other people who said they wished they had taken notes, so I thought I'd share my notes for those who may be interested.
Sister Beck discussed how mothers are the "lionnesses at the gates of their homes". She referred to the conference as an "Emergency Meeting". She discussed setting our priorities in order by making sure we do the "essential" things. The "necessary" and "nice" things follow the "essential" in order of importance.
Essential: Personal Revelation
a. Read scriptures
b. Pray
c. Ponder
d. Fast
e. Make and keep covenants
f. Attend sacrament meeting
g. Go to the temple
Necessary: Home-Making
a. Create a house of order
b. Cooking
c. Make a place for the Lord's spirit to dwell
d. Teach children to pray
e. Support and love your husband
f. Value important, better things than those of the world
g. Practice being self-reliant
Nice: Things that add variety but won't save us
a. Hobbies
b. Crafts
c. Books
d. Movies
e. Lunch with friends
Sister Beck said many other wonderful things that I wasn't able to write down. My wonderful friend and visiting teacher found this talk on the lds.org site! Apparently she had also given this talk at Women's Conference at BYU. If you'd like to read it in its entirety (you totally should), click here.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
In the new schedule we started this week we've begun "Family Fun Time" each day for an hour. This is an hour that I am willing to do what the kids want to do: like go to the park, play games, and the like. On Monday we were on our way to the park when we passed Rob, who was on his way home. We convinced him to come with us and that made it much more fun for everyone!
So the first week of our New Life is over. We stuck to our schedule fairly well and it was one of the best weeks EVER. I am serious - I think it might be the very best week because my kids have been ANGELS. I don't mean to brag or anything (well, sort of I do), but they have been the most PERFECT children on the planet. I swear our schedule must have come at the perfect time for them because they have responded so well to it. I believe I was guided by the spirit as to what our family needed this summer and that our family is being blessed for our efforts to do what we feel is right for us at this time.
Now there's no need to point out that they may not always be so cooperative because I know this. (I have been a parent for nearly 12 years now, you know.) I'm just hoping that their enthusiasm will last long enough that they will realize some of the benefits and that those benefits will help them to want to be self-disciplined in the future.
Obstacles
Because we've had something scheduled every single evening this week, the kids aren't getting to bed on time which means I haven't had the time I was planning on to work on projects and things I am interested in doing (i.e. blog, family history, etc.). We're also having trouble making time for errands, play dates, visiting teaching and the like. I'm not sure how to solve this problem, but I'm working on it.
Benefits
The kids have had more play time throughout the day (but not all in one block of time, which would make play dates easier) and are playing with each other nicely. They are also getting their work and other responsibilities taken care of quickly and without complaining. I have made time for scripture study during the day and personal study time so I have a chance to read for a little while each day. Our family is reading scriptures and praying together each morning which has really set a good tone in our home for the day.
Mom School
This has been the favorite part of the day for all of us. We have had so much fun "playing school". The kids ask for more work even after our 90 minutes of Mom School are over. And you wouldn't believe how much work we can get done in 90 minutes together.
Chores
I scheduled 45 minutes of work time for the kids to do their chores: namely, tidy their rooms, do a daily job (anything from vacuuming to yard work), and a rotation job (put away clean dishes or watering the flowers or garden). 45 minutes has proven to be way more time than they need because they are FINALLY getting the concept that if they work quickly they'll have more free time. It's only taken 5 or so years of consistently giving them work that had to be done before play time. What can I say? They're gifted.
Family Fun Time
I allotted 1 hour each day for Family Fun Time - the period of time where I will play with the kids. We take turns deciding what we'll do for Family Fun Time, but so far the ideas they've come up with are: play at park, go to library, put on a puppet show, dress up, tea party, read together, throw balls to each other, play board games. You get the idea. This is a highlight of the day for the kids for sure.
Nap Time
After lunch I take a 45 minute nap. I would like a 2-hour nap, but 45 minutes gives me enough energy to make it through the rest of the day in a pleasant mood. Avery has been asleep through this time so far, but the kids know they are in charge of him if he wakes up early so they've been extra quiet to ensure he continues to sleep. I have also been pleasantly surprised that they haven't used this time (or any of their free time during the day) to watch TV.
Restricted or Liberated?
All in all I have found our schedule thus far to be completely liberating because we're using our time wisely and my kids have been angels and I feel good at the end of the day because of how everything played out. I feel like we are actively working toward the goals that are most important to me. Although there are certainly some restrictions (i.e. waking up before some external force requires us to), the benefits have far outweighed the costs. There is a really good feeling in our home right now which I value more than those things we've given up.
I want to take this opportunity to point out that I am not saying that anyone else should adopt this schedule. I don't profess to know what is best for anyone's family but my own.
A couple of weeks ago I emailed Randal A. Wright concerning a survey he had talked about in one of his presentations (5 Mistakes Parents of Teenagers Make). I didn't hear back from him, so I ended up posting my blog about heroes without knowing the source of the hero study he cited. It turns out he wasn't ignoring me, he was just out of the country! He wrote back when he returned and even emailed me the whole chapter out of his book that talks about heroes and gives even more information about the survey than I had before! Isn't that awesome? I'm so excited to read the whole 14 pages! The remainder of this post is an excerpt from Randal A. Wright's book, 25 Mistakes LDS Parents Make and How To Avoid Them (it can be purchased in its entirety here).
Heroes of Youth
1900
78% historical figures
12% literary
10% relatives/acquaintances
(Dorothy Barclay, "Youth's Heroes and Hero Worship,"
The New York Times Magazine, 4 November 1951, p.42.)
However things began to change drastically after that time. In 1923 advertising genius Albert Lasker of the Lord and Thomas advertising agency was hired to boost sales for the American Tobacco Company. The campaign focused on trying to convince women to smoke realizing they could double their potential market if successful. To do this the agency hired female silent movie stars and opera singers to endorse Lucky Strike Cigarettes. This campaign also focused on making women weight conscious and the slogan ‘reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet’ was coined. “Sales of Lucky Strike cigarettes increased by 312% during the following year.” (US News and World Report, March 7, 1994, p. 21.) This campaign demonstrated that celebrity “heroes” could do an amazing job of selling products. This discovery has had a huge impact on modern families and society as a whole. No wonder Clare Barnes said: "Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the twentieth century than any other single factor." (PQ p.43)
By 1950 advertisers had totally distorted the traditional hero of the past.. This new celebrity hero often had little to do with the traditional definition of “brave deeds and noble qualities.” The new hero fits much better with the term idol, which by definition is “a person or thing which is excessively admired.” Look at the difference in the heroes of 1900 and 1950.
Heroes of Youth
1950
33% historical figures
00% literary
10% relatives and acquaintances
57% sports, radio, and movie stars
(Dorothy Barclay, "Youth's Heroes and Hero Worship,"
The New York Times Magazine, 4 November 1951, p.42.)
These new celebrity heroes came to represent fame, good looks, individualism, wealth, notoriety, talent and about everything else a person dreams of having in his or her lifetime. Teenagers searching for role models to follow are especially influenced by this barrage.
Recently we conducted a survey of American high school students to see if those they admired had changed even more since the 1950 survey. We found the following in 2001:
Heroes of Youth
2001
02% historical figures
00% literary
12% relatives and acquaintances
86% sports, radio, television and movie stars
(American Youth Survey, 2001)
But what does all this talk of celebrity heroes or “teen idols” have to do with our families? One thing is apparent. The new heroes all share more in common than just fame, fortune and good looks. What is it they share? They and the companies they represent are all selling something. It may be high priced athletic shoes, CD’s, DVD’s, movie or concert tickets, mid-drift baring clothes or teen magazines, but they are selling something and we as a public are buying. But can they sell more than just products?
Avery and Madi were a little competitive with me and the toys. It was funny to see Avery get so jealous when I held Madi or when she played with his toys. She was very snuggly with me, which was nice since Avery doesn't love to snuggle. They played together nicely most of the day and I think Avery loved having someone around to play with that was near his age. Madi is 2 1/2 years old and Avery is 21 months old.
Avery and Madi were a little competitive with me and the toys. It was funny to see Avery get so jealous when I held Madi or when she played with his toys. She was very snuggly with me, which was nice since Avery doesn't love to snuggle. They played together nicely most of the day and I think Avery loved having someone around to play with that was near his age. Madi is 2 1/2 years old and Avery is 21 months old.
