 Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. |
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost
Friday, May 28, 2010
Two Roads Diverged...
I've been thinking about this for a while and finally decided to blog about it. I guess I feel like I need to commit to the world that I'm making some changes: not just to demonstrate my resolve, but also to help the people around me see what I'm all about.
Have you ever had a time in your life where you felt like you were at a cross-roads? That you had come to a pivotal place where your choices were going to make a huge difference in your life? I'm there.
I try really hard to be a good mother who teaches her children important things and is consistent (most of the time) and loving. I set boundaries and have rules for acceptable conduct and try to make time for each of my kids. It's just that we have too many good and even many better things in our lives, but we're having trouble making time for some of the best things. I've got to consider the cumulative effect of my daily decisions and make sure I'm doing all that I can to provide my children with the best of the best.
I've spent a lot of time of late pondering what I really want out of my life and have come to the conclusion that I simply must instigate some changes in my home if I am going to be the kind of parent I actually want to be. Being good isn't enough for me; I want to be great! In the blink of an eye my children are going to be grown up and gone and I know I will wonder if I've done as much for them as I could have done. I want to limit my regrets as much as possible, so I'm making some changes.
First, I am great at cleaning. I generally keep a tidy house and Rob and I work to keep a nice-looking yard. However, I know my tendency is to spend too much time cleaning and at the end of the day (or week) I realize I didn't accomplish many of the important things I wanted to do and the house is a mess again regardless. So lately I have made a concerted effort to clean my house less. This may sound strange to some people, but at the end of the day a perfectly clean house is not what I want to be remembered by. Don't get me wrong: I still want a tidy, sanitary place to live which is devoid of excess clutter - it's just that it doesn't need to be quite as clean as I actually like it to be. Now, this is only going to be beneficial if I use the time I had been spending cleaning to do something that is even more important to me, so I've come up with a schedule to help myself stay on track for the summer. I know schedules can be scary because they feel restrictive, but I'm trying to look at it from the perspective that if I stick to a schedule I will make the time for things that are most important to me (I've even scheduled in "project time" each day for things like family history!).
Second, my family is over-scheduled. We've got to simplify our lives and stay home more to make time for some of the other things on my list. Before committing to something, I'm going to think about whether it enhances or detracts from my goals for my family. This will inevitably impact the people around us, but hopefully they will understand.
Third, I'm not spending enough time teaching my kids. I teach them things as we go along through life and we have Family Home Evening most of the time, but I want them to know more and in order to do that, I've got to invest more structured time. I specifically want to spend more time teaching Bible and Book of Mormon stories.
Fourth, I need to schedule in more time for personal study, prayer, meditation and journal writing. These are things that are important to me and trying to squeeze them in at the end of the day isn't good enough.
Fifth, I want to spend more quality time with my kids. I'm notorious for multi-tasking. Sure, this is mostly a good quality, but when it comes to making kids feel important it gets in the way. I want my kids to have some dedicated "mom time" every single day. And so I'm scheduling in time during the summer to do something with them without the distractions of my to-do list. This time could be spent playing games, going on a walk, reading books together, being silly or just talking. I'm sure they'll think up some other creative ideas, too.
Sixth, I'm going to limit my sleep. I love to sleep. I would love to sleep 10 hours each night and take a nap every afternoon! Waking up to an alarm clock when the kids don't have to make it to school at a specific time is one sacrifice I'm going to make to reach my ultimate goals. My summer schedule starts at 8:00 a.m. Good thing school's out so I don't have to wake up too early!
Seventh, we're going to spend less time with our electronic friends and more time playing outdoors. This is a change I've wanted to make for a while and now is the time. I'm a little bit scared to face my husband and kids on this one, but I'm the Mom, so I'm willing to fight this battle to free up time for better things.
This may sound like a list of New Year's Resolutions which will promptly be tossed aside when reality sets in, but I am determined to improve in these areas because I've got my "eye on the prize". I know this is a lot to change all at once, but I have to make the changes that require giving something up in order to have time for the changes that involve doing more important things. Making changes one by one would certainly be an improvement, but I'm in the market for more of an overhaul. I'm certain that my proposed schedule will have to be tweaked and some days we'll abandon it altogether, but it's a starting place.
P.S. Saturdays and one weekday each week during the summer will be schedule-free, reserved for things like field trips, running errands or sleeping in late. Oh yeah, the days I work (twice a month) don't count either!
I try really hard to be a good mother who teaches her children important things and is consistent (most of the time) and loving. I set boundaries and have rules for acceptable conduct and try to make time for each of my kids. It's just that we have too many good and even many better things in our lives, but we're having trouble making time for some of the best things. I've got to consider the cumulative effect of my daily decisions and make sure I'm doing all that I can to provide my children with the best of the best.
I've spent a lot of time of late pondering what I really want out of my life and have come to the conclusion that I simply must instigate some changes in my home if I am going to be the kind of parent I actually want to be. Being good isn't enough for me; I want to be great! In the blink of an eye my children are going to be grown up and gone and I know I will wonder if I've done as much for them as I could have done. I want to limit my regrets as much as possible, so I'm making some changes.
First, I am great at cleaning. I generally keep a tidy house and Rob and I work to keep a nice-looking yard. However, I know my tendency is to spend too much time cleaning and at the end of the day (or week) I realize I didn't accomplish many of the important things I wanted to do and the house is a mess again regardless. So lately I have made a concerted effort to clean my house less. This may sound strange to some people, but at the end of the day a perfectly clean house is not what I want to be remembered by. Don't get me wrong: I still want a tidy, sanitary place to live which is devoid of excess clutter - it's just that it doesn't need to be quite as clean as I actually like it to be. Now, this is only going to be beneficial if I use the time I had been spending cleaning to do something that is even more important to me, so I've come up with a schedule to help myself stay on track for the summer. I know schedules can be scary because they feel restrictive, but I'm trying to look at it from the perspective that if I stick to a schedule I will make the time for things that are most important to me (I've even scheduled in "project time" each day for things like family history!). 
Second, my family is over-scheduled. We've got to simplify our lives and stay home more to make time for some of the other things on my list. Before committing to something, I'm going to think about whether it enhances or detracts from my goals for my family. This will inevitably impact the people around us, but hopefully they will understand.Third, I'm not spending enough time teaching my kids. I teach them things as we go along through life and we have Family Home Evening most of the time, but I want them to know more and in order to do that, I've got to invest more structured time. I specifically want to spend more time teaching Bible and Book of Mormon stories.
Fourth, I need to schedule in more time for personal study, prayer, meditation and journal writing. These are things that are important to me and trying to squeeze them in at the end of the day isn't good enough.Fifth, I want to spend more quality time with my kids. I'm notorious for multi-tasking. Sure, this is mostly a good quality, but when it comes to making kids feel important it gets in the way. I want my kids to have some dedicated "mom time" every single day. And so I'm scheduling in time during the summer to do something with them without the distractions of my to-do list. This time could be spent playing games, going on a walk, reading books together, being silly or just talking. I'm sure they'll think up some other creative ideas, too.
Seventh, we're going to spend less time with our electronic friends and more time playing outdoors. This is a change I've wanted to make for a while and now is the time. I'm a little bit scared to face my husband and kids on this one, but I'm the Mom, so I'm willing to fight this battle to free up time for better things. This may sound like a list of New Year's Resolutions which will promptly be tossed aside when reality sets in, but I am determined to improve in these areas because I've got my "eye on the prize". I know this is a lot to change all at once, but I have to make the changes that require giving something up in order to have time for the changes that involve doing more important things. Making changes one by one would certainly be an improvement, but I'm in the market for more of an overhaul. I'm certain that my proposed schedule will have to be tweaked and some days we'll abandon it altogether, but it's a starting place.
P.S. Saturdays and one weekday each week during the summer will be schedule-free, reserved for things like field trips, running errands or sleeping in late. Oh yeah, the days I work (twice a month) don't count either!
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