Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Home Schooling Our Kids

I was recently asked by a friend about home schooling.  The following is what I wrote to her, so I thought I'd go ahead and post it here in case anyone else wanted to know my thoughts.

I am homeschooling Alex (8) and Ashlie (13) right now (and Avery, too, I guess!).  I agreed to let Olivia (11) go back to school for 6th grade, but next year I'll keep them all home.  The primary reason I sent Olivia back for 6th grade is because I had promised Alex he would have a year for just him because he was jealous that Olivia had a year at home and he had to go to school.

The changes in my children when they've been at home for schooling has been so remarkable that I can't rightly justify sending them back to public schools.  We are all thriving this way.


Olivia was developing into a bit of a brat in 4th grade.  I prayed about what to do about her and I just couldn't get over the idea that what she needed was more time at home and more one-on-one time with me.  So, I agreed to home school her for 1 year, not being able to commit to more.  It turned out to be the best year for both of us.  I could not have imagined the strength that came into our relationship by bringing her home.  She could usually do her school work in the first 3 hours of the day, then she spent the day following me around and learning how to be a mom.  Her relationship with Avery strengthened.  We spent at least an hour every afternoon reading and snuggling together and by mid-year she absolutely loved reading and once that fire is lit, it never really goes out.  Like I said, I let her go back for 6th grade, but I really regret it.  She has gone back to being kind of mouthy and forgetting how important family is.  She is really good at school and gets near perfect grades, but it takes a lot longer to learn the same amount of information at school and you're restricted in how deeply you can learn things.  I like that at home we can spend as long as we want on a subject that they're interested in and just learn the basics of things that aren't interesting to them.  By the way, Olivia turned back into my angelic child once she was out of public school.  I'm hoping this happens again at the end of the 6th grade year.
Anyone else have bad junior high experiences they wish they could forget?
Ashlie was very unhappy in 7th grade at Bountiful Jr and I could tell her self-confidence was diminishing and she was beginning to not like learning.  Her grades were really suffering (she has always had straight A's).   Historically she had been the one in my family that most loved school.  She was begging to be home schooled, but I wouldn't take her out until she got all her grades back up to A's.  I pulled her out at the semester break and I've never seen her happier since then.  In the 6 weeks since then, she has completed almost an entire year of Algebra, practices piano at least an hour or two each day, spends tons of time sewing and cooking and reading and is hungry to learn everything she can.  She is taking Latin and Algebra through Washington Online Schools, but the rest we just do at home.  She was in 4 honors classes in public school but still bored because they were moving too slowly.  Now she can move at her own pace and fly through subjects and have plenty of time to spare, along with learning home-making skills and her focus is far more on family than friends. 

The question home schoolers are always asked is if we're concerned about socialization.  To that I give a resounding "NO"!  With the YW program and home school groups all over the place, she has ample opportunities for socializing.  It is true that home schoolers may need to work harder to seek out friendships, but that doesn't mean there aren't opportunities!
Kids at the South Davis Liber Academy
Next year both Olivia and Ashlie will be enrolled in a commonwealth school called South Davis Liber Academy (SDLA).  They take classes all day on Thursdays (taught primarily by parents and older student mentors) then do the remainder of their work at home the rest of the week.  I have been watching my nephew and his schoolmates at this school for 2 years and have been amply impressed by the quality of people coming out of that school.  They are really amazing people who all seem to be comfortable in their own skin and with their own talents.  Yes, there are lots of weird kids, but they are true to themselves and not trying to pretend to be like the most popular kids, like they do in public school.  The truth is everyone is different and should be!



It has been a bit of a struggle with Alex because he currently hates learning and hates being forced to learn.  I think school took all the fun out of education for him, and I expect it will take some time before he will rediscover the love of learning new things, but I know it will happen eventually.  He takes science through Washington Online Schools, but the rest we do at home in a non-pressure environment.  He has always been really good at math and spelling, but so far he still doesn't love to read.  I know it will come, though.  I have loved seeing Alex using his creative abilities better (i.e. discovering in the outdoors, carving stuff out of sticks, making his own bow and arrow, building things, etc.) and I love that I don't have to fight him to go to school every single day and then hear about how awful things were at school.

Who wouldn't rather learn in an environment like this?!
There are many wonderful teachers in public schools - my kids have had some great ones!  The problem is that it's a gamble from year to year whether you'll get teachers that will inspire your children.  And each year the children need to learn the new teacher's style and reset their focus based on what that teacher thinks is most important.  They lose a lot of time and effort switching between teachers each year and their personal philosophies about what is important. 

I know I've said a lot but I wanted you to understand where we're coming from and what we've seen so far.  My biggest pieces of advice for anyone considering home schooling are: 1) pray about it, and 2) get informed!  Talk to as many people as you can.  Find out what all your options are because they are plentiful.  The biggest regret I have is not being willing to try it sooner.  I always thought of myself as someone that "could never do that", but you do what you think is best for your family regardless of how hard it is! 
Talk to as many people as you can who have tried it.  You're not going to get good enough information from people who haven't ever tried it!
There are so many home schoolers out there right now and more joining the ranks all the time.  The thing I can unabashedly say about every home school family I've met is that they are people who are trying to find a better way to meet the needs of their children.  I've not met a single home school parent who isn't really trying to do what's best for their family - and at great personal expense.  It is not the easy way, but it is SO worth it!  


For an entertaining 4-minute video on the subject, visit: 7 lies about homeschooling.
Home schooling info: Mindfiesta

3 comments:

Jon said...

Great post, Nat! I've been thinking a lot about this because of how upset Liz has been about going to school. But the real killer for me about public school is just the sheer amount of time. Time spent transporting to and from. Time apart from family (especially a big deal for my kids who get upset every time they leave to go to school or their mother's house). Time waiting for the other kids to catch up (Liz gets in trouble frequently for doodling on her papers while she's bored waiting for the slower kids; she draws ALL THE TIME and should never be punished for that, especially when it's not a matter of drawing INSTEAD of what she was supposed to be doing). But the biggest waste? Time spent passing the time. They do so many pointless activities that are obviously just a matter of filling the time that they are required to be in class. Like the "George Washington hat" she came home with a couple weeks ago: 3 strips of paper (red, white, and blue) stapled together in a way that it sort of makes a tricorner hat and sort of stays on a head. That's not art. That's not history. That's not any core subject. It's not any subject whatsoever. It was just about passing the time.

Last week they made these leprechaun things. Just a mass-produced leprechaun cutout thing with writing paper as the torso. Every kid wrote the 3 things they would wish for if they caught a lucky leprechaun. Most were just simple lists like "ipod", "pet fox", Gameboy 3DS", etc. Liz said she wanted a pet puppy, all the toys she wished for, and that her parents wouldn't be divorced.

So sad! She's sitting at school (which she hates), getting writing practice (that's the only function I can think of for the activity) that she doesn't really need, and missing her parents. She cries most days when she has to leave for school. But we have a court order that says I can't do anything about it through the end of the school year.

She would thrive with homeschooling. She hates that she loses the little bit of time we have left together at the end of the day if she spends it actually reading or doing something else that is productive and educational because it's all the time we have except for every-other-weekend. She loves doing edutainment type activities, but we never have enough time and she's burned out on the concept by the time she gets home from school.

Rachel said...

Natalie, You really are quite amazing and I really admire you! We miss you guys lots and your kids too! Glad to know things are going so well...thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think it is great when parents think outside the box to do what is best for their kids!
xxoo
rachel

Debbie said...

This is a great commentary, Nat. And you are a fantastic mom. Your kids are incredible. What more could we ask for?