I Used To Like Rollercoasters

Life with Cutesome has been a 6 1/2-month rollercoaster. It started with his delivery. He was born in September with the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, shoulder and abdomen (I didn't even know it was long enough to do all that!) and breathing trouble immediately thereafter. The team of doctors, nurses, etc. that swarmed into my room fixed him up after a while and gave him to me as though none of it had even happened. Starting later that day he was "squeaking" with each breath and when he was sent to the nursery in the middle of the night they found he wasn't getting enough oxygen.

That day he was sent to the NICU. The doctor's best guess is that he had Pneumonia, but they really never figured it out for sure. The antibiotics made him better and that was all I needed to know. He also had jaundice while in the hospital and was poked and prodded and had IVs in lots of places and just had a rough start all around. His hospital stay was 8 days. It was exhausting and traumatic, but we were happy to leave the hospital with a beautiful, healthy baby.

Cutesome didn't sleep without either Dreamer or I holding him upright for 3 months, then finally slept better after he got used to the Amby. When babies learn to sleep, their parents' lives get much, much better! (Refer to earlier post about how great Dreamer was during this time.)

Then there was the reflux. It took a really long time to finally get a diagnosis for this because he refused to perform for the doctor, even though we were there every week. He wasn't gaining weight, so we had to go in to have him weighed every week and sometimes twice a week for a month. We got Prevacid for the reflux, which helped, but then it seemed to not help as much, so we switched to Zantac (I think), which was worse. We switched him back to Prevacid and saw some improvement, but still not like a normal baby.

He was colicky for three months, probaby a combination of tummy trouble, reflux and not enough sleep. And he wasn't a very good nurser - just wanted to snack all the time and then spit it all out again - all over himself, me and the surrounding area. And he has eczema; not a terrible case, but eczema nonetheless.

Finally, at my wit's end because he was so fussy and was still spitting up amazing volumes, we tried soy formula. This is when we saw the biggest improvement in spit up amounts and general fussiness. He also started eating literally half as much as he was eating with milk-based formula and was actually gaining weight.

He had an ear infection and some colds...normal stuff.

I finally felt like we had made it past his health problems when he got what I thought was a cold. He coughed and coughed and coughed and wouldn't eat much, but other cold symptoms weren't really present. The cough seemed to be getting worse and I was worried it was bronchitis or something that might need antibiotics, so I took him to the doctor, who listened to his breathing and gave him a treatment of albuterol, which affirmed that he has asthma. $260 later we were on our way home with the nebulizer and instructions to give him an albuterol treatment every 4-6 hours. Each treatment takes 20+ minutes. A week and a half later (yesterday), I still felt like he wasn't improving like he should - about 2 1/2 hours after each treatment I can hear his rattly breathing again and he coughs a lot and isn't eating normally again. The doctor expected better results by now, so she prescribed a steroid last night to help him improve dramatically within 3 days or so. Today he's ultra-ornery and has lost his voice almost completely. His "crying" sounds like someone with laryngitis trying to speak but nothing is coming out. Cross your fingers and say a prayer that this will help.

The poor little guy. Yes, it's been hard on me (and Dreamer, of course), but I think poor little Cutesome doesn't even know what it's like to live without discomfort or pain.

The stress of all of this has been overwhelming to me. We have good days and not-so-good days. I wouldn't have made it this far if I didn't have significant support from family and friends (my sister and her family, especially). Even so, I've gained 20 pounds since November which I attribute entirely to stress (nothing else has changed). When we have 2 or 3 good days in a row, I start thinking I can start exercising and/or dieting, but then we have some rough days and I realize that - truthfully - I can't even begin to think about dieting or adding exercise to my day because I'm barely making it as it is. I hope there is an end in sight to Cutesome's health concerns and that he'll outgrow the asthma and I'll find some routine and normalcy in my life again.

Contrary to all this complaining, I am eternally grateful for our wonderful little baby and would do it all over again if given the choice. There have been some weeks when he has felt much like a normal baby. I always figured I'd get a really difficult one because Vivacious was an easy baby.

Little Cutesome has been worth every bit of the trouble! However, I'm thinking that maybe 4 kids are enough for us.