I just watched this video about real men that I'd love to share with everyone. Also, in April's general conference the following was read by Sister Julie B. Beck, quoting Eliza R. Snow:
"We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones. In an organized capacity we can assist each other in not only doing good but in refining ourselves, and whether few or many come forward and help to prosecute this great work, they will be those that will fill honorable positions in the Kingdom of God...Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities."I want my girls to grow up to be the kind of women that are described in this quote. I read in a book (Reviving Ophelia) that the "selfishness of the teen years is a developmental stage, not a character flaw". While I believe this to be true, I also believe that once the teen years are over it's time to grow up and actively work toward becoming unselfish adults who try to put the needs of their family above their own.
It brings to mind the following scripture:
1 Cor. 13: 11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.It is to Rob's credit that he was able to marry at a young age, start a family quickly and yet "put away childish things". He has steadily supported our family through tremendous hard work and long hours ever since. He supports our children in every way and he has been faithful to and supportive of me. He is a real man. To us, "Family is Everything" and life is easier for all of us because we value family highly.
Let me tell you a story. In January our van's transmission went out (you know, right after Christmas when money is especially tight). Rob's parents loaned us the $3000 to fix the van (thank you!). I was really discouraged because the van is only worth about $3000, yet we couldn't afford to buy a new one yet and had to sink that much money back into the vehicle we were anxious to get rid of. Having to pay for these repairs would increase the time it took to get a new van by at least a year.
Meanwhile, Rob was in the process of selling his beloved fish "stuff", including several large tanks, his stingrays and other exotic fish he had collected over the past couple of years. He had decided to sell them and put the money into his 'motorcycle fund'. Shortly after the van needed to be repaired, Rob decided (with no pressure from his parents) to use the money he had earned from selling his fish stuff to pay his parents back rather than be that much closer to having a motorcycle. Now, if this isn't the stuff real men are made of, I don't know what is.
Rob will probably never know how much it means to me that he made this sacrifice for our family because words cannot express how wonderful I think that decision was. He is a wonderful example to my boys of the kind of men they should try to become and an example to my girls of the kind of men I hope they marry. Even though I don't tell him or show him nearly enough, Rob is and will always be my Prince Charming.
6 comments:
Natalie,
Having watched you and Rob from a very close vantage point during the last year, I've noticed something you do that others could learn a lot from.
You and Rob are no more "compatible" than any average husbands and wives are. You both get frustrated with the other one when you see and react to the world differently than the other would. But . . . the real difference that separates you from the thousands of couples who separate or divorce when they discover that their "soul mate" is not as perfect as they once thought he/she was when they married them is this . . . YOU STRIVE TO APPRECIATE EACH OTHER AND YOU EXPRESS THAT APPRECIATION TO EACH OTHER.
This blog post by you is a perfect example of how you do it. You don't just silently appreciate Rob, you TELL HIM HE'S APPRECIATED . . . and that makes all the difference.
Dr. John Gottman, the leading researcher of what works in marriages and what causes them to fail, has developed hard statistical evidence that successful couples praise each other 5 times for every 1 time they criticize each other. You and Rob are good examples to us all of how to do that.
That's a concept you mother and I never really understood and never practiced . . . and one day it was too late.
Nat,
Your family is exemplary. I cannot tell you how great you guys are doing. You are wonderful examples to your kids and your extended family as well as any who come in contact with you. You both make tremendous sacrifices for the greater good and don't bemoan your adversities, but rather, use them as learning experiences and steps to perfection. Nat, you are the perfect example of how parents can also learn from their children. Your sacrifices and service are often unacknowledged, except in heavenly records but you touch lives every day for good. I love you guys - you, Rob and your fantastic children who are being raised in a wonderful home.
Natalie,
If you and Rob ever visit or pass throuh Las Vegas, there is a fantastic free display of 3 species of stingrays, 3 species of sharks, and 4,000 fish in a 117,000 gallon, tall, curved, plexiglas aquarium. It's the biggest and best aquarium I've ever seen that is free! Next to it is an aquarium filled with jellyfish.
It's called Aquarium at the Silverton. Do a Google search on it. The best time to see it is during the daily feedings at 1:30 p.m., 4:30 p.m., and 7:30 p.m.
They also have a girl dress up as a mermaid and perform a short show in it Thurs. 2:15 - 8:30, Fri. & Sat. 2:15 - 9:30, and Sun. noon to 7 p.m. (These times can change.) The show is not that interesting, just a girl dressed up as a mermaid in the aquarium posing for photos and waving to children and everyone else outside the aquarium. The daily feedings are the best time to see it.
The Silverton is about 5 miles from the Strip. Get on I-15 and head South toward Los Angeles. Exit on Blue Diamond Rd. From there you will see it since the Silverton is next to I-15.
I do not care much for Las Vegas. But this is FREE and nice to see. A lot of families take their children to see it.
What I learned while watching it is Steve Irwin (aka "Crocodile Hunter") was not killed from a barb on the end of a stingray's tail like most people think. Stingrays don't have a sharp barb on the end of their tail. Instead, they have a short sharp barb about 4" long in the middle of their back. He had to have been right on top of a stingray, grabbing it and harassing it, for it to have killed him with its barb. They passed a stingray barb around and let everyone in the audience feel it.
I have seen large stingrays many times in the ocean while snorkeling. Some are 5-6' diameter. They like to bury themselves in the sand on the bottom, hide and watch everything above them. They look menacing! I always stay away from them.
When I was on my mission in New Zealand Samoans would sometimes serve me stingray. It was delicious, large white meat, no bones.
Brian.
Natalie,
I want Rob to be happy and fulfill his dreams but I hope he NEVER gets a motorcycle. They are too dangerous! Rob has a loving wife and 4 beautiful children. His life is too important to risk it on a motorcycle.
I know of several people who have been killed on motorcycles -- while wearing a helmet. In my ward is a "motorcycle widow."
I saw a head on crash between a motorcycle and a SUV in Little Cottonwood Canyon. There was not a scratch on the SUV but the motorcycle was mangled and on fire and its rider was dead. His body looked like a powerful meat eating dinosaur had taken its claws all over him.
Please Rob, no motorcycle. Your family needs you!
In addition to motorcycles, I also suggest teach your family to avoid ATVs. They look safe but they are not. The industry keeps building them bigger, heavier, faster and more powerful. Do a Google search on serious injury and death on them. You will be shocked!
Former Utah Congressman Bill Orton was killed on at ATV last year at the sand dunes -- while wearing a helmet.
Three years ago I helped fast and pray for a boy who was 17 driving an ATV when it rolled over on him and crushed his head. It was a miracle his life was saved. It took over $1 million to completely rebuild his crushed skull and face. His family had insurance but they now owe $450K and will have no choice but to take out bankruptcy. The boy is now suicidal and suffers severe headaches and psychological problems because he can't relate to having a new face.
Brian.
Nat, you really are so lucky to have Rob as a husband. Your children are also very lucky to have you as examples while they grow up. They will see that the two of you don't always agree, but you'll always love each other anyway.
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