One of my favorite talks is by James D. MacArthur, a psychology professor at BYU. In his talk, Parents and Self Worth, he discusses the idea of parenting deliberately - something that requires actually thinking about where we're at as parents right now, how the things we're doing now are working or not and making changes based on the end result we're hoping for. This idea of deliberate parenting has stuck with me and the specific ideas he gives have been very helpful to me. Another of my favorite concepts from Dr. MacArthur is expressing love for our children both because of the decisions they make and just because they are who they are. If we choose to express love to children only based on what they DO, they will probably never quite measure up - or never think they've measured up. If we express love only based on "existence = worth", they may not reach their full potential. It is the balance of these two that helps to produce emotionally healthy children. There is so much information in this presentation that every parent should learn and try. Dr. MacArthur's book goes into waaaay more detail: Everyday Parents Raising Great Kids.
Another of my favorite talks is To the Parents of Teenagers: Avoiding 5 Oft-Made Mistakes by Randal A. Wright. I found that there is a talk with the same title by Brent Barlow, but I don't know if the content is the same. This, too, is from Education Week.
Another of my favorites is I Can Do All Things Through Christ Which Strengtheneth Me. This is by Jack Rushton, a man who was in a surfing accident and became a quadriplegic. He tells his story and discusses how Christ can help us get through any and everything we have to face. He talks about the difference between being cured and healing and finding peace in the circumstances we find ourselves in. He has written a book, It's Good To Be Alive, which I would LOVE to get.
I also love Righteous Warriors by John Bytheway. He mostly teaches teenagers but even as an adult I love his talks. This one is all about the "War Chapters" in the Book of Mormon. These are some of my favorite chapters now that I have really studied them and after learning many of the specific ways they relate to our day. Incidentally, my girls listen to John Bytheway talks all the time when they're getting ready for bed and going to sleep because they think he's funny and interesting. I love this! Bytheway has written several books and also has tons of talks on CD. My favorites are on The John Bytheway Collection: Volume 1.
There are many more I could list but this is enough for now. I hope that if one of these talks sounds interesting that you'll take the time to listen to it. Who knows, it just might help with something you're struggling with.
If you're interested in listening to or downloading these kinds of talks to your mp3 player, visit BYU Broadcasting and follow the instructions found there. It's super easy and a great resource! Find talks from Education Week, BYU Women's Conference, General Conference, BYU Forums and Devotionals and more.
1 comment:
Natalie - Along with my comments the other day about how you and Rob praise each other, I'd like to agree with your comments here about it being important to praise kids "for the decisions they make" and also "just because they are who they are".
It's not only important for kids, it's extremely important for other relationships as well, like husbands and wives, for example. The ability to praise people "just because they are who they are" is one of the fundamental building blocks of unconditional love or charity, as described by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13. In order for us to be able to praise people "just because they are who they are" we must first be able to accept and love them for who they are, not just because they do what we want them to do or just because who they are happens to please us.
The ability to see the good in people who are different from us is a direct evidence of a person's ability to recognize that God did not intend for us all to be the same. He gave us different gifts so that we would be . . . DIFFERENT from each other. And so we could celebrate our differences.
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