Better Late than Never!

I wrote this blog post in a Word document several months ago and I guess I never posted it.   I believe in it's better late than never, so here it is!

The school year has come to an end.  The kids are now all home for the summer and the house is a LOT more chaotic all day long than it was just a week ago.  It is always an adjustment when school gets out in the summer, but by the time summer is coming to a close I never want the kids to go back to school because I love having them home with me.

My home school year with Olivia has ended.  I am sincerely mourning the end because it has been such a wonderful year.  I have truly loved having her home with Avery and me all day every day.  The best result we realized was also our primary goal: to strengthen our relationship.  Having all that time together with only the distraction of one other child made it so much easier for me to meet her needs.  And when her needs for attention and one-on-one time are met she is a truly delightful child.  I am so sad to send her back to school next year and will have to try especially hard to keep our relationship strong.

Being with just Olivia and Avery during the day is a walk in the park compared to when all of my children are home in the afternoon and evening.  It has become quite poignant to me that having 4 children is significantly harder than having 2.  Now this may seem obvious to some, but it seems that some people don't realize that it is much harder to be a good mom as you add additional children.  As I think about this it also occurs to me that I really have NO idea what it must be like for people who have more than 4 children.  (Mom, how did you do it????) 

Now don't get me wrong....being a mom is the very best thing I've ever done in my life and I LOVE it more than any other thing I could be doing.  I wouldn't trade my role for anything and I LOVE having 4 kids.  However, it is really hard work. 

Recently someone I know who works full time but is not married and has no children said something to the effect of how busy she is and that I (and the other stay-at-home-moms that were in the room) probably have more time than she does to get things done.  I wanted to laugh in her face.  It just shows her naivety because she simply cannot comprehend the unrelenting and constant work that it is to be a wife and the mother of multiple children. 

Let's explore just one aspect of being "the mom".  I like to get my laundry done on one day each week.  I make sure we have enough clothes that I can usually save most of the laundry for Mondays.  However, now that I am providing laundry services for 7 people (my family plus my dad lives with us) it takes literally an entire day to do the laundry.  Luckily I can do other things in between loads but I have to change the laundry continually throughout the day without taking much time between the end of one load and the beginning of the next in order to get it all clean, folded and distributed by the time I go to bed on Monday night.  And if I am gone for a couple of hours during the day it runs into Tuesday.  And laundry is just one example.  Consider also the number of dishes we go through every day and how much messier a house with 7 people gets in just a short time and the taking care of each child's individual needs for attention and homework help and running them to the places they need to be and helping them learn to work and teaching them to be good people and on and on.... 

Now it is true that when one has multiple children the older ones can help out with the younger ones and this does offset the workload to some degree.  And I have children who are great workers and help out a ton with house and yard work. 

When other things (besides number of children) are taken into account such as having children with special needs or having to work outside the home in addition to being the mom or demanding callings or community involvement or any of the innumerable other things that make each of our situations unique it is critical that we remember that we don't know what it's like to be in each other's shoes. 

Not Funny. Me sad!

My darling little Avery's heart was broken at Wal-Mart today.   Alex had received 3 of exactly the same set of Legos for his birthday and was picking out 2 new sets to trade them for.  Unfortunately, Avery was with us.  I prepped Avery on the way to the toy aisle, explaining that he could look at the toys today but that we were not going to buy one and take it home. 

The child knows exactly where the Cars 2 toys are located and promptly picked out exactly which one he wanted to take home.  It was a tiny Finn McMissile and he talks!  The problem is that Finn costs almost $8 and we need to be really careful with our money right now so we can get a new house soon.    I held my ground, even though it was really, really hard to say 'no' to his adorable (remember, he's still just 2) begging.  He kept saying, "Please, mom...PLEASE buy?"  I talked to him again at eye level, explaining that I would like to buy him the toy but that I don't have enough money for it this time.  I tried telling him that maybe he could get it for his birthday like Alex got presents for his birthday.  Unfortunately, the logic of the situation didn't change the fact that he really wanted it! 

When it was time to go I asked if he wanted to put it back on the shelf or if he wanted me to do it.  I counted to three and it hadn't been replaced, so I had to pry the car from his tiny hands and put it back on the shelf.  He did all he could to squirm out of my arms, wailing in a broken-hearted way (not the same kind of crying as a spoiled kid fit).  He was crying big giant tears.  It was so sad and it was really all I could do not to buy it for him (but, see, I'm a smart Mom and didn't give in which will make it easier for him to believe it when I tell him 'no' in the future).  He cried the whole way out and kept trying to tell me what he wanted.  I just kept whispering that I know he wants that car really, really bad but I can't buy it for him today.  At one point he yelled, "Listen!  Want car!"    

Renewed energy went into the crying and again he tried to squirm away from me when we got to the check stand...and when we reached the doors to exit...and again when we got to the van.  As we were driving away Alex was trying to distract him with something he thought was funny.  Avery's response: "Not funny.  Me sad!"   Well, Avery, me sad, too!  I wish I could have spoiled you today!

Changing Education Paradigms

Alex's funny reply

Ashlie messed up Alex's Rubik's cube, so she took it apart to "fix it".  It was mostly put back together when Alex found it, then said, "This has about as much chance of working as I have of growing feathers!"

Earlier in the week I was just making conversation with Alex and I said, "I wonder where Grandpa went today."  His response: "Life's full of mysteries!"

My Cute Kids

My little brother Jon is a photographer (Perceptional Reality is the name of his company) and took these great shots of my kids.  If you want a photo shoot (he does all kinds, including weddings), you can contact him at 801-430-2172 or jon@perceptionalreality.com.

Olivia (10)

Avery (2)

Ashlie (12)

Alex (7)

Front Porch Photos

Every now and then I insist my children endure some front porch photos.  Here they are before church one Sunday in April:

 

Ashlie (12), Olivia (10), Avery (2), and Alex (7)

 

 

We added this front porch last fall and then the flower bed in the spring.  Our plan was to extend the roof over the porch with a column on each side and to bump out the dining room, which is the window to the right of the door.  Since we've decided to move we're trying to sell the house without a railing and without extending the roof and dining room.  I have loved having a big porch to relax on and not having a railing doesn't even bother me!

Ashlie's Class Play

Ashlie's 6th grade class recently performed the play, The Sword in the Stone.  They did an awesome job and Ashlie was excellent in the role of Guenevere's mother, Queen Cleo de Grance.  I made her costume and fixed her hair.

Ashlie on our front porch on the day of her first performance

Queen Cleo de Grance

King Arthur, Guenevere and Queen de Grance (aka Asher, Lucy and Ashlie)

The back of Ashlie's hair

Cute Little Avery

Alex & Avery

Avery has been so, so, so cute lately.  And stubborn, too.  He is definitely two. 

A couple of months ago he started calling Rob and I "Daddia" (pronounced Daddy-uh) and "Mommia" (pronounced Mommy-uh)".  It really is adorable.  He's our first baby that has come up with nick-names for us!  So now we call him "Babia" and "Averia" sometimes.  

He has begun to put words together independently (more than just "bye daddy" and the like).  He frequently points at something and says what it is and what color it is.  For example, we were at the store today and he pointed at a lady and said, "yellow purse".  When I'm using my Kindle he says, "Let me try".

Cars still top Avery's list of favorite toys.  This truck & trailer combo is his recent favorite because he can haul other cars with it!   (This is the smile he uses when he poses - his natural smile is so much cuter!)

He works out his problems frequently by demanding that we "Share!" and by telling us it's his "Turn!".

Avery LOVES Toy Story and plays with his Buzz, Woody and Bullseye figures all the time.  He is especially fond of Buzz.  He plays in a very imaginative way that is fun to watch.

Even at the library, Avery wanted to read his favorite book, which we have at home!

His favorite book is "Big Dog, Little Dog", but he insists we read it, "Big Daddy, Little Avery", replacing the word "dog" with "Daddy" and "Avery" all through the book. 

Home For Sale, continued

If you're interested in seeing pictures of the house we're selling or if you know anyone interested in a great house in Bountiful, go to http://bountifulforsalebyowner.blogspot.com.

Home For Sale

We have decided - after much deliberation - to sell our home.  We have loved living in our 1950s-built neighborhood and we can only hope we'll find neighbors as wonderful wherever we end up as we have had here.  It has been a difficult decision for us.  I'll give some details below for those who may be interested.

Reasons to stay are as follows:

• We love our neighbors.  This truly is a uniquely kind and caring neighborhood filled with nonjudgmental people.  I love that there are families in every age group, including elderly, middle-age, lots of kids and newlyweds.
• We have spent the past 6 years making this house our home.  We've made lots of wonderful memories here.  It is hard to leave a home you love, even when you feel it's time.
• We have completely redone the kitchen (complete with all possible upgrades) and both bathrooms (they're finally done and now we're leaving!).
• We've painted every room in the house at least once.
• We overhauled the basement, complete with large closet, crown moulding, paint, carpeting and all new doors.
• We added an extra-large porch onto the front of the house so we could expand our dining room out several feet and still have a larger porch with room for rockers.  We put in super deep footings so we could extend the roof to cover the large porch.  We don't believe we'll be able to increase the price of the house by the amount it would cost to finish this process, so we'll just leave it as an extra large porch and it will be ready for the new owners, should they decide they'd like a large dining room.
• Just last summer we built raised, square-foot gardening boxes and filled them with super amazing soil. 
• We converted part of our extra-large garage into a bedroom (aka "bonus" room) for my dad.
• We love our established yard, complete with large shade trees, climbing ivy, large outdoor patio and great snowboarding and sledding hills.

Reasons to leave are as follows:

• We are outgrowing our house.  We've added a child and a grandparent to our household and the other three kids have grown a lot in the past 6 years!  And they (we) are only getting bigger!
• We need more common areas - such as a large family room, and an office/sewing area.  I want my kids to want to have their friends at our house.  To encourage this, I want a nice family room with enough room for friends, games, etc.
• Ashlie, our oldest child, is going into junior high next year.  Olivia is just one year behind her.  If we're going to make a move, I think it is best to do it before they establish hard-to-lose friendships in junior and senior high schools. 
• I have really missed sidewalks.  Our neighborhood doesn't have sidewalks and we are on the benches of the mountain here in Bountiful.  I hate that my kids (especially the younger ones) can't ride their bikes without going out into the roads and onto a hill.
• 
  

We found one home that we loved and it even had a little "cottage" that my dad could have lived in, but our offer wasn't as high as the one they accepted, so we lost it.  I found another one I fell in love with, but Rob wasn't as enthusiastic.  And so we'll keep looking.

Pictures

Rob is such a great dad.  He spends time almost every night playing games with the kids or helping them with projects, etc.  He is really wonderful!  Here he is, helping Alex with his first erector set.

 Avery LOVES his daddy!  He doesn't like Rob to go to work every day and often tries to convince him to stay home.

 Olivia is so good at taking care of Avery.  Having her at home with me during the day this year has been so nice.  She frequently helps with Avery and has learned some great babysitting skills.  Here she is, reading one of my favorite children's books (The Monster At the End of This Book) to him. 

 Ashlie and Olivia are good friends.  It is so nice to have such a good friend to grow up with.  They like to slide down the stairs in Ashlie's slippery sleeping bag and land on pillows.

 Avery is trying to hold Olivia in this picture.  These two love their "feety" jammies!

 Alex, reading.

 Avery and Olivia

 Sometimes I find that Ashlie and Olivia have fallen asleep together in one of their beds.  They both love to snuggle and giggle together and are so lucky to have each other.

 What could be more fun than taking turns playing DS with your brother/sister?

 Ashlie can almost always be found with her nose inside a book!  I love that she loves to read!

Olivia and Avery drew a city on the driveway, including this school house.  So cute!

They're so cute when they're sleeping!

I have always loved pictures of my sleeping babies.  They are just so darn cute (and QUIET) when they're asleep! 

 At what age is it no longer kosher to take pictures of one's children sleeping?  :)  I've still got time, right?

Alex hates his bed.  We are unsure of the reason and I don't think he even knows.  Regardless of the reason(s), he ends up sleeping in one of the following places every night: on the floor by my bed, on the couch in the family room, on the recliner, or on any other piece of carpet not in his bedroom.

Olivia's Cell

Last week Olivia created a representation of an animal cell out of various foods.  The graham cracker crust is the cell membrane, the grape Jello is the cytoplasm, she used Gobstoppers to create a nucleus, mints for vacuoles, broken pieces of spaghetti for chromosomes, sunflower seeds are mitochondria.

She had a fun time creating this cell and learning to make Jello!

Our New Paint Color

I have been wanting to re-paint the family room for some time now.  And by "I", I mean that I wanted someone else to paint the family room for me!  Well, as luck would have it, my dad was willing to fix the ceiling cracks and repaint the family room last month!  Yay!!!  I love the color we ended up with; it just feels so much more friendly and happy than the color we used to have.  I still haven't bought the fabric for new curtains, but wanted to post the pictures of the painting project before too long had passed.  Thanks, Dad!

This is my dad's super awesome power sander for sheetrocking.  He and his dad developed it years ago and with a duct tape repair on the hose now and then it still works!  If I understand correctly, it sands the drywall or repaired part of the wall, then collects the majority of the dust in that handy canvas bag.  He says that as far as he knows it's the only one like it in the world.  My dad learned the art of sheet rocking and wall repair from his father, whom he worked with and for every day after school when he was a teenager.

More Pictures

A classic toy...

Avery, pretending to be Olivia's "baby". 

 Isn't he cute? 

Look at these handsome boys before church!  This is the first time Avery has worn a tie and he LOVED it.  I couldn't get Alex to give me a normal smile, but at least the picture captures who he really is!

And here are my beautiful girls before church on the same day.

Avery took a nap with me the other day and he just looked so cute with his blankie and Mario, so I risked waking him so I could get a picture.

Avery on his favorite warm-weather toy

Alex hates that we have no sidewalks in our neighborhood.  I really wish we had sidewalks and/or didn't live on a hill.  These factors make me really worry about the kids riding their bikes.

 Olivia on her scooter.  She likes to make roads with sidewalk chalk on the driveway.

Avery

Ashlie